Poverty

At our monthly Franciscan meeting last night, we were discussing yesterday's Gospel about the rich man who asked Jesus what he must do to enter Heaven. Jesus answers with some basic commandments; to not murder, to respect his parents, to be faithful in marriage. Pretty obvious stuff to anyone who is looking to be a decent person...or to keep him/herself out of prison at the very least.

The rich man seems to say, "yeah, yeah, got all that covered". He wants to know what else he can do. So Jesus tells him what he must do to be perfect; sell all he owns, give it to the poor, and become His disciple. Dejected, the man walks away, knowing he will never reach a standard like that.

It's hard to NOT identify with the rich man, which is why this passage always bugs me when I read it. Being a good person is not enough for Jesus. No, now I've got to be perfect, sell my house, and leave my family destitute. Is that what Jesus is asking me to do?

Thank God, no.

I spoke about my discomfort at the meeting about this very thing...how could Jesus be asking this of me, or any person with a family and any responsibilities? Doesn't this make anyone who is not in a cloistered, contemplative religious community as a monk or nun a hypocrite? Our formation director listened patiently as I rambled on, the picture of quiet undedrstanding. When I was through, he asked me a question ; "Do you really believe Jesus is commanding you to be perfect? Would Jesus as you know Him ask this of you or anyone, knowing how impossible it is?"

I thought for a bit; No, Jesus couldn't be asking that of me. He knows me, and He knows my humanity all too well. Jesus wouldn't ask me to be perfect. He would however, ask me to go beyond the basics. He would, however ask me to do more than refraining from homicide or cheating on my wife. He would ask me to stretch myself, to set the ultimate goal for myself by imitating Him, to attempt to "be perfect as Our Father in Heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:47). Jesus is not asking me to sell everything I own to follow Him; Jesus is imploring me to be thankful for what I have and not be owned by my possessions instead of the other way around. I am happy to have a house...but I shouldn't put myself in hock to make sure I have the same size dormer as everyone else seems to be getting. I am happy to have a car - but I shouldn't be down on the fact that I currently don't own THIS year's model, like everyone else seems to have. I am happy and grateful to have a job - but not to the point where I work 80 hours a week to get ahead when I have a family at home that needs me and loves me (Thank GOD).

In short, this- the poverty Jesus asks of me, the poverty I need to become familiar with as a Franciscan-is not physical destitution; it is treating the world and everything in it as GIFT, to be grateful for the material and immaterial blessings I possess (which are quite numerous) and should be generous with them wherever and whenever possible.

Thank you God for the gift of my fraternity for showing me the path under my feet once again.

Pax et Bonum,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Judges 6:11-24a
Psalm 85:9, 11-14
Matthew 19:23-30

Vacation begins!

Had some really blessed moments this weekend at my inlaws' summer house up in Monticello NY. It was my father-in-law's birthday and we had a great time with family and friends - some of whom I've not seen in awhile (but wish I had)

It's late and I am extremely tired, but I'm grateful for the people in my life tonight/this morning. Nothing more or less earthshaking than that.

God Love You!
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Judges 2:11-19
Psalm 106:34-40,43,44
Matthew 19:16-22

3 sets of 10 Things...

Thanks go to Jake Morrisey & Greg Bestick for these contributions to A MAN'S JOURNEY TO SIMPLE ABUNDANCE by Sarah Ban Breathnacht.

A good deal of these truths are self-evident. Some not so much. But I would do well to refer to these nuggets every now and again...

10 THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD KEEP IN MIND AT ALL TIMES

1. Right-y, tight-y; left-y, loose-y
2. A career is not a substitute for a life plan
3. Shouting doesn't help.
4. Laughter does.
5. It is inevitable that the people you love will occasionally let you down.
6. It is inevitable you will occasionally let down the people you love.
7. Health is the first wealth.
8. It takes too much energy to hold a grudge.
9. Amortize, ameliorate, or purge all regrets every 5 years.
10. Flowers always help. So does "I'm sorry" and "Thanks".


10 THINGS I HOPE MY KIDS LEARN BEFORE I DID

1. The amazing amount of "anything" and "everything" that's out of your hands
2. The pleasures of pausing somewhere you shouldn't at two in the afternoon.
3. How money works.
4. It's the small moments that make it worthwhile.
5. How to dance.
6. Success in life is how well you deal with "Plan C".
7. Admitting you don't have all the answers produces remarkable results.
8. Don't tell someone who knows how to do his job how to do his job.
9. Figure out who the important people are; make sure they know you know.
10. Where the clitoris is.


10 THINGS I WANT MY WIFE TO KNOW

1. Emotionally, we have to take turns "being on top".
2. I can't form words around my feelings as fast as you can.
3. I love you.
4. Don't confuse preoccupation with indifference.
5. Even though I'm paranoid, I really do know you're not out to get me.
6. There are really times when silence is better than talking about it,
7. I know I can go farther with you than without you.
8. I think you are beautiful, no matter what you look like on any given day.
9. Of course, on any given day, you look great.
10. When we get lost in each other, I find myself.


Daily Mass Readings
Feast of St. Lawrence
2 Corinthians 9:6-10
Psalm 112:1-2,5-9
John 12:24-26

Attitude of Gratitude

It has been a good long while since I posted something 'round these parts. Work has been busy but thankfully another quarterly reporting cycle is coming to a close with the building still standing.

Although it is a few weeks away, I feel a profound sense of gratitude for my upcoming sobriety "birthday" on August 31st; I will have been sober for 8 years. I happened to be surfing through the channels before bed...for the most part, there really IS very little worth watching. I came upon a show called INTERVENTION - which documents the lives of various struggling addicts and their families who attempt to save them from themselves, with the guidance of a counselor. I could have been the subject of each and every episode, but for the grace of God expressing His love for me through the people in my life. I watched intently, empathizing with every slurred word, every vomitting session, every familial disappointment, every failure. I'd been there, and I don't ever have to be there again.

So, like an awards show, here is my "8th Annual Thank You" to the people who have made and continue to make my sobriety possible:

- My wife, Lori, who by all logic should have disappeared years ago due to my alcoholic rants and misadventures and yet remained at my side(she's already done her time in Purgatory, folks). She is the epitome of loving patience, and I thank God every day for her.
- My children, who remind me each and every day of the precious gifts of their growing up I'd be missing if I hadn't put the bottle down. From watching James go off the diving board, to teaching Patrick how to play chess, these daily miracles are things I wouldn't have wanted or cared about.
- My parents and sister, who had to endure my active disease from the beginning and never wrote me off or shut me out.
- My TRUE friends, who never pressured me to "just have one" after I got sober. Instead, they offered much appreciated support and admiration that I cherish every day.
- My beloved cat Archie, who kept me from falling so many times early on, when the insanity to drink was nearly unbearable...with a constant purr and complete understanding.
- Last and certainly not least, my friends in the Church Triumphant, especially Saint Francis of Assisi who has taught me humility, the importance of letting our Brother Jesus guide us through our lives and of the Sacrament that is my family.

Oh sure I could be jumping the gun here; I could go out on some bender between now and 8/31. It's not like I CAN'T drink. I CAN. I am an alcoholic. Therefore, I'm GOOD at drinking. The difference today is that I simply don't HAVE to anymore. And I thank God from the depths of my soul that I have that choice today.

Pax et Bonum,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Memorial of St. John Vianney
Numbers 12:1-13
Psalm 51:3-7, 12-13
Matthew 14:22-36

Callings and sore feet

"God doesn't call the qualified...He qualifies the called"
- Fr. Vin Ritchie SJ at this evening's Mass.

Did I need to hear that today! My family has been away for the weekend and only having 1 car at the time, I had to walk to Mass this evening (hence the sore feet...it's about 2-3 miles). Father Vin was preaching on today's Gospel, the commissioning of the Apostles to go out into the world and do the work of Jesus. I imagined, being the men they were, that they were taken quite aback at this request. Some fishermen, a tax collector, a notorious doubter...they must have been thinking "He's kidding, right? No money, no change of clothes, no food, no nothing? Master...did we HEAR you right? What if we get beaten up on the road? What if we can't find a place to stay? What if we get accused of blasphemy? Surely this is one of those parable-thingies?"

I always get questioning myself in what I've been called to to; "What qualified YOU to be a Dad? Who the heck are YOU to even be attending fraternity meeting to the Secular Franciscan Order (forget about becoming professed!!!)? How dare you even THINK you may have a calling to be ordained a deacon someday??" And yet, here it all is. I'm a husband and a father of 2 loving children. The fraternity I'm in formation with welcomed my discernment with open arms and encourages me that I'm right where I am supposed to be. And the diaconate? Who knows? God has been calling me to SOME greater service within the Church, and in my prayers the idea of serving as a deacon keeps coming up. There's a reason for that; I don't rightly know what it IS at present, but God rarely makes His reasoning known to me all at once.

Why me? Why NOT me? I am not qualified for any of these things, and will never be, of myself alone. If God wants me, God will qualify me. Period. Thank you for the pep talk, Fr. Vin!

Daily Mass Readings
Amos 7:12-15
Psalm 85:9-14
Ephesians 1:3-14
Mark 6:7-13

Chapter -n- Verse

I was having a conversation with a dear friend who, while respecting my views as a Catholic Christian, thinks that the text of the Bible is so hopelessly removed from the original languages and truncated by a patriarchal society that it hard for her to see how truth could be derived from it (Sheri, if this is not your general thinking on this, the fault is mine)

My friend makes some good points.

From Greek to Hebrew and Aramaic to Latin to the vernacular, all filtered down to the interpretation of each translator (all men with few/no exceptions, as far as we know), the Bible has the potential for being a stew of nonsensical ramblings, putting forth a thousand and one different agendas.

I wrote back to her the following:

1- The Bible isn't one book - it's a library. Likely, many of the authors would be horrified at the content of some of their co-authors! Whoever penned Leviticus certainly wasn't of the same thinking as the author of Song of Songs (STEAMY stuff!)
2- The Bible isn't a science book, though it contains elements of science.
3- The Bible isn't a history book, though it contains many historical facts.
4- The Bible isn't a mythology book, although many myths can be found within its pages,
5- The Bible isn't "divine dictation". The authors of the books were regular people, writing in the context of the society in which they lived, warts and all. I as a Catholic Christian believe the INSPIRATION was Divine, not the words that were written.
6- Verses in the Bible, taken of themselves and out of their surrounding context (and usually put into a new context) can be bent to state just about anything. In other words, someone "chapter and versing" you specifically to prove a point in opposition to yours likely has other agendas.

7- What the Bible is...a 3,000+ year old record of a people's GROWING understanding and relationship with their God. No more and certainly no less.

Scriptures (for Jews and Christians) are guidelines to be taken in context with our own prayers and pleadings with God, and in the context of how they speak to us in their own lives. My challenge as a Catholic Christian is to try to discern the INSPIRATION I spoke of before that the writer experienced. Try to read past the necessarily crippled language of the author and get after what the author was trying to convey.

I don't know what she'll think of that response. It does work for me - someone who had many of the same issues with biblical texts at one point.

Peace & All Good,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Ezekial 2:2-5
Psalm 123:1-4
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Mark 6:1-6

The Latin Mass

Today I attended a Traditional Latin Mass for the first time. It is held in a parish a few towns over on a weekly basis. In order to help me understand what was going on (and because he had not been to one for decades), my Dad - a former altar server and seminarian schooled in the Tridentine Mass - came along as well.

Until today, I questioned the reasoning of why we as Church need an Extraordinary Rite for the Mass anymore. Mass in the Ordinary form, the vernacular, is more than sufficient. The people are able to participate, you can see and hear the priest, it's a community celebration, the music is modern. The Tridentine Mass is in a dead language that no one speaks, the priest has his back to the faithful, and the faithful don't really participate at all. However, this is my Church and my legacy. I figured it would to me good to experience the Latin Mass once and then I could scoff at this antiquated mode of worship from a position of having experienced it firsthand.

God must be laughing at me right now, boy.

The two words that keep coming to mind are Reverence and Mystery. The careful, meticulous set-up by the sacristan, the well-practiced altar servers, the cadence and beauty of the Latin language (did I say it was a 'dead language'???). I was reminded today that the focus and purpose of the Mass is not on the priest, his homily, keeping the congregation entertained with fine music. As I mentioned in my previous entry on Reconciliation, IT'S THE SACRAMENT, STUPID! The priest has his back to us because he is focused on the same thing the congregation is supposed be focused on...The Real Presence, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ in the Eucharist. The Word made Flesh in our very midst.

I didn't understand the Latin or course, even though I tried to follow along in the Missal. This didn't bother me, however. Surprisingly enough, it added to the sense of Mystery I was experiencing as Mass went on, that there was something awesome and supernatural going on. My Dad however, was intent on the priest, always knew where to respond, even was mouthing the words along with him. "I guess it's like riding a bike...you never really forget!" he had said to me afterwards.

And receiving Communion - kneeling before the priest with the server holding a paten under my chin ('lest He strike His foot against a stone' - Luke 4:11). Indescribable.

Here are some thoughts from a Catholic tutorial on the web, describing Latin Mass as a source of Unity for the Church. Thanks go out to the folks at SanctaMissa,org:

"Latin is well adapted for the services of the Catholic Church, because it is both venerable and mysterious. It is venerable on account of its origin and its antiquity; it is the language in which the praises of God resounded from the lips of Christians during the first centuries. It is a sublime and solemn thought that the holy sacrifice is now offered in the same language, nay, with the very same words as it was offered in times long past in the obscurity of the Catacombs. There is also an element of mystery about the Latin tongue; it is a dead language, not understood by the people. The use of an unknown tongue conveys to the mind of the vulgar that something is going on upon the altar, which is past their comprehension, that a mystery is being enacted. In the first centuries of Christianity a curtain used to be drawn during the time from the Sanctus to the communion, to conceal the altar from the sight of the worshippers. This is now no longer done, but the use of an unknown tongue has something of the same effect, by inspiring the awe into the minds of the common people. It is a striking fact that Israelites and pagans made use, in the worship of the Deity, of a language with which the multitude were not conversant. The Israelites made use of the ancient Hebrew, the language of the patriarchs; we do not find Our Lord or the apostles censuring this practice. The Greek Church, both orthodox and schismatic, employs the old form of the Greek language for divine service, not that spoken at present. The same language is in use in the Russian (so-called orthodox) Church, not the vernacular, which is a Slavonic dialect."

http://www.sanctamissa.org/en/faq/latin-as-a-source-of-unity.html#R1

I will definitely make it a point to make it to a Tridentine Mass on a fairly regualr basis. Learning a bit of Latin wouldn't hurt, either!

Pax,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Wisdom 1:13-15, 2:23,24
Psalm 30:2-6, 11-13
2 Corinthians, 8:7, 9, 13-15
Mark 5:21-43