I think I'm finally getting a handle on this Husband/Father thing.
It comes before everything. I know I've written that numerous times before, but I didn't quite understand it until recently.
It comes before work - although work is something that makes up the whole 'responsible man' idea, which is of course a big part of being a Husband and Father.
It comes before any aspirations I have to service in the Church in any official capacity. I'd been coveting the idea of become an ordained deacon for the Church. Being a deacon is to personify Jesus Christ the Servant. It requires an emptying of oneself in service, but even the Church specifies that both family and work come before any clerical responsibilities. My wife and my children have lost a lot of my time due to the active phase of my alcoholism, and I am not nearly caught up to the point of having the time to become an ordained servant of the Church.
It comes before my hobbies and my comforts. I've enjoyed my reading, writing, facebooking, and all-around relaxing - to the detriment of quality time spent with my family, and things I ought to be doing in and around my home. Sooner than I think, my boys are going to stop wishing to spend so much time with me. I have a window of time, influence and future memories that will be closed before I know it. I need to take advantage of that while it is still possible.
I have not nearly explored the richness of what it truly means to be Husband and Father. I have a greater idea of what I stand to miss out on if I don't plumb these depths now. It's time to be a Man. I've been treating my life as a prelude to something greater...and it is, in respect to eternity. But if I forget the journey in favor of waiting around for the destination, I've missed the entire point of living a Life. I can't let that happen.
St. Joseph, Patron of Husbands and Fathers, pray for us.
Third Saturday of Easter
Daily Mass Readings