I am disappearing.

So says Jane McAllister, the woman suffering from Alzheimer’s disease in this article. I read it slack-jawed with tears welling in my eyes before I was finished. There was to be a series of articles in National Catholic Reporter. However, Mrs. McAllister passed away last week, as these articles began to be published.

Jane is an inspiration to me. She was FAR from happy at her predicament, but exuded such a quiet dignity about her fate, such a deepness and richness of faith. And her husband and caregiver Robert? After suffering along with his beloved, offering her care, his love his patience, his entire heart and soul…how much more does he suffer now? Is there guilt because there might be a tiny, hidden tinge of relief in his suffering, now that Jane is at rest? It hurts me and frightens me to think of myself being in his situation. I pray if I ever am, I will be reflecting the image of God to my beloved in anywhere near the same fashion.

I can’t imagine the torture, fear, and final resignation of losing your memories and experiences good and bad, to something like Alzheimer’s. It seems to me it must be exactly like the Passion of Jesus. How frightened He must have been, knowing what was to occur, knowing the inevitability of His life being cut short in a violent, betrayed fashion. Losing His friends, His mother, His joy of Life. Almost...almost...losing hope on the Cross (‘…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ (Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34), and finally commending His spirit home. Just as Jane did; “My voice is hoarse these days, but I say words of praise with you each day, and someday I’ll sing them when I come home.”

Thank you God for the gifts I have today. Help me, HELP ME squeeze every bit of goodness and utility out of every one of these gifts. Everything I have is “on loan” in my stewardship, and I may not possess these gifts tomorrow. Grant me overflowing gratitude!

Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 1:10,16-20
Psalm 50:8-9,16-17,21,23
Matthew 23:1-12

The Supper of the Lord

Thank you God for this day.

It happened again, first time in ages. It was one of those moments where I felt infinitely close to God.

Me and the boys were at Mass today. It was your typical Sunday Mass, with about a third of the congregation STILL saying the words to the old missal (whether this is accidental, born of a spirit of protest, or a bit of both, I'm unsure.) Deacon Jim's homily was a dry explanation of the day's readings and Gospel; HE even yawned widely while he preached. That kind of Mass.

After the Consecration when we were going up to receive, the cantor and organist started softly playing the hymn, The Supper of the Lord. It's a beautiful little hymn, but nothing out of the ordinary; it's a typical Communion hymn.

Precious body, Precious Blood here in bread and wine.
Here the Lord prepares the feast divine.
Bread of Love is broken now; Cup of Life is poured.
Come, share the Supper of the Lord.

And when I got back to our pew and these lyrics sank in, I felt such an overwhelming sense of warmth, of comfort, of peace. It was like fragrant warm water rushing over me. I felt the congregation in solidarity with my family, all going to share in our Sacred Meal together. From all walks of life, backgrounds, financial brackets, and political affliations, THIS IS CHURCH is the message the pounded in the blood of my heart. Goosebumps and what likely looked like a pretty silly grin on my were the only outward signs of this. It was pretty amazing to me, all the same!

The very essence of our faith...for me it is contained, right there in that verse from the hymnal. It's what makes me a Catholic Christian, and comforts me when I'm almost in despair, of any number of things; sharing the Supper of the Lord with the Body of Christ, His Church. I'm so glad to have my faith today!

First Sunday of Lent
Daily Mass Readings
Genesis 9:8-15
Psalm 25:4-9
1 Peter 3:18-22
Mark 1:12-15

Stumbling into Lent

I found myself slipping into an old habit this evening; getting into nasty religious debates. Whether it's with fundamentalist Christians, Dawkins-esque atheists, or SSPX Catholics, the object never changes - win, making your opponent look as hapless as possible. There's a perverse joy in that, in feeling you've bested someone, in the "I'm-right-you're-wrong" mindset.
There's nothing wrong with discussion and disagreement in the pursuit of truth. But when "winning" or embarrassing someone becomes an end in itself, there's something amiss (at least for me). Have to re-focus and screw my head back on right.

One the lighter side of these first couple of days of Lent, I've decided to give my 4-legged and feathered friens a break and give up meat for the duration. The fish are still on their own...not ready for that yet!

Jesus, help me imitate your time in the Desert well. Help me have a Holy Lent. Amen

Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 58:1-9
Psalm 51:3-6,18-19
Matthew 9:14-15

Change in my title?

Doesn't really matter all that much, but I've recently discovered that acronym for the Secular Franciscan Order has changed. According to the International General Minister, we are now going to be using the acronym in Latin so that worldwide, Secular Franciscans will have the same "title".

THE OFFICIAL NAME OF THE ORDER
THE USE AND THE TRANSLATION OF THE NAME OF THE ORDER
1. The official name of the Order is Ordo Franciscanus Sæcularis.
2. Translations of the name of the Order
2.1. The translation of the name of the Order is already made in the four official languages, and these are the ones to be used in these languages, namely in Italian, in English, in Spanish and in French.
2.2. The name can be translated into local languages only when the literal translation from Latin is easily understandable even by the civil society and does not change its meaning or substance.
2.3. When the translation into the national language distorts the meaning of the name, or is linguistically impossible to transfer the genuine meaning, Ordo Franciscanus Sæcularis must always be used,which can be followed by expressions to clarify and make more understandable the nature of the Secular Franciscan Order to everyone in the local language.
3. The acronym
The acronym which refers to the name Ordo Franciscanus Sæcularis is OFS and is always to be used regardless of the language. For example, when Secular Franciscans use the acronym after their name, they must use “OFS”.

Encarnación del Pozo, OFS
General Minister

I've always been a bit dyslexic anyway. OFS it is!

Daily Mass Readings
Jonah 3:1-5,10
Psalm 25:4-9
1 Corinthians 7:29-31
Mark 1:14-20

Seeing Christ

We hear it all the time as Christians...we need to see Jesus in the people we meet. Sounds all nice and new-agey, and I say it all the time. So you can imagine my surprise when it actually happens; when I see the unassuming face of Love in another person, or group of people.

I won't go into details. Let's just say my faith was rejuvenated by a number of generous, selfless, other-centered people today. And I am humbled and grateful for it. May we all show that glimpse of the Face of God from time to time, if only for an instant.

Daily Mass Readings
1 Samuel 17:32-33,37,40-51
Psalm 144:1b,2,9-10
Mark 3:1-6

Ecumenism re-imagined....

Ever tried to be too many things to too many people?

Spiritually. I've been learning to attempt this is monumentally draining, I can tell you. Being in contact and discussing matters of faith with folks of all faith or none is one thing. In an attempt truly be understanding and tolerant, I've been immersing myself in other said folks' viewpoints. In other words, instead of finding the common ground between us, I'm so concerened about seeming "intolerant" that I'm downplaying my beliefs in favor of theirs. It almost feels like, in the name of tolerance, I'm diluting who I am. Like I'm losing focus.

And to label it as "ecumenical" just doesn't work for me any more.

Love all of you....but I'm going to have to start adhering to the adage of "agree to disagree".

Not in the best place right now.

Daily Mass Readings
1 Samuel 3:1-10,19-20
Psalm 40:2,5,7-10
Mark 1:29-39

Engaged Encounter - 1995

We're doing a little purging of our paperwork this weekend. To my delight, I came across the notebook I used during our marriage prep weekend, Engaged Encounter. Looking back on my pre-marriage musings about where our shared life was going to go, with the hindsight of almost 16 years of marriage, was fascinating. All the things I didn't know about being a husband and a father, a provider and a partner; it just blows my mind.

L and I have been through so much together. Reading my notebook, remembering the different man I was then, the different WORLD we were living in, and contemplating the enormity of everything that's happened since then...and we're still standing. Different people, a different couple, with a relationship we couldn't have dreamt up in a million years. But we're still here.

Thank God she stayed.

The Epiphany of the Lord
Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 60:1-6
Psalms 72: 1-2,7-8,10-13
Ephesians 3:2-3a,5-6
Matthew 2:1-12