Engaged Encounter - 1995

We're doing a little purging of our paperwork this weekend. To my delight, I came across the notebook I used during our marriage prep weekend, Engaged Encounter. Looking back on my pre-marriage musings about where our shared life was going to go, with the hindsight of almost 16 years of marriage, was fascinating. All the things I didn't know about being a husband and a father, a provider and a partner; it just blows my mind.

L and I have been through so much together. Reading my notebook, remembering the different man I was then, the different WORLD we were living in, and contemplating the enormity of everything that's happened since then...and we're still standing. Different people, a different couple, with a relationship we couldn't have dreamt up in a million years. But we're still here.

Thank God she stayed.

The Epiphany of the Lord
Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 60:1-6
Psalms 72: 1-2,7-8,10-13
Ephesians 3:2-3a,5-6
Matthew 2:1-12

Another list from Deacon Joe

A very dear friend and I were musing over how much we both love writing lists; the books we want to read, the things we want to accomplish, the things we have accomplished, etc. Then in my email this morning, I received a list from my Franciscan Brother Deacon Joe. Too lovely not to share (and I sure could do with following a good number of these!)

This one is for you, S!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. Everything can change in the blink of an eye But don't worry; God never blinks.

15. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

16. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

17. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

18. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

19. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

20. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

21. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

22. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

23. The most important sex organ is the brain.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will
this matter?'

26. Always choose life.

27. Forgive but don’t forget.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

32. Believe in miracles.

33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

36. Your children get only one childhood.

37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.

40. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

41. The best is yet to come...

42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

43. Yield.

44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Memorial of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
Daily Mass Readings
1 John 5:5-13
Psalm 147:12-15,19-20
Mark 1:7-11

A few New Year's Resolutions

A wonderful Advent and Christmas! Which means it is time to consider what kind of 2012 I want for me. So here goes, in no particualr order:

- Lose weight around my middle and care for myself more diligently. Yeah, everyone has this one and I'm no different. I'm not setting specific weight loss goals. But my stamina for doing anything physical these days is negligent. The unexpected heart attack of a healthy YOUNGER friend a couple of days ago frightened me. I have far too much to lose. So my dormant gym membership finally will be put into use!
- Publish something...outside of this blog. I love to write. I love to tell stories. That's not enough however. I've never really made a concentrated effort to "put myself out there" as far as writing goes. Self-publishing is easy; no one can tell you 'no'. It's time I started to frame the stories I have within me and really try and do something with them.
- Continue my sobriety. It's not a given; I'm as close to the next drink as any alcoholic, regardless of the time I've put in. As with my health, I've far too much to lose now. Remain vigilant!
- Read at least 25 books. I've always prided myself on being a reader, but I've done precious little of it the past year; MAYBE 10 books? Now that I have a Nook, there are no exuses. Hit the books!
- Go vegetarian for Lent. After years of planning to do so and falling off the wagon before the First Friday, I think I'm ready to try this again. Not only is it a sacrifice for me...but as a Franciscan, giving my Brothers and Sisters of the Animal Kingdom a break for a couple of months is the least I can do.
- Study and become familiar with at least one other religion/spiritual path to better understand how others recognize the face of God.
- Find a workable program to read through the Bible in one year.
- Pray the Liturgy of the Hours daily (at least Morning and Evening prayer)

That ought to keep me busy!

Blessed New Year to all!

The Octave Day of the Nativity of the Lord Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God
Daily Mass Readings
Numbers 6:22-27
Psalm 67:2-3,5,6,8
Galations 4:4-7
Luke 2:16-21

One Day at a Time...

It's rare that I write about my recovery. Over the last few weeks, however, it's come to the forefront for various reason; an unexpected craving that I've not experienced in quite some time. An acquaintance going back out to try some "controlled drinking" again with catastrophic results. And so I've hit a few meetings, and am planning on staying closer to the program for the time being. Seems I've been forgetting to "keep things in today"; either living in the past or dreaming about the future instead of paying attention to the only thing that actually matters.

Now.

When I forget the now is when I tend to get into trouble with my recovery.

So today, I'm simply going to post these recovery links, 12-step and non, to any all all who might read this. If you're drinking/drugging/hurting, want to stop, and don't know how...PLEASE follow these links and call these numbers. Help is out there and you don't HAVE to feel this way anymore. God Bless You.

Alcoholics Anonymous Worldwide Services
Narcotics Anonymous Worldwide Services
The Calix Society Catholic spiritual fellowship to enhance AA
Pioneer Total Abstinence Association Irish prayer society, "taking the pledge"
Smart Recovery Secular recovery program
Rational Recovery Secular recovery program
The Addiction Recovery Guide Catch-all addiction recovery reseources

If you've found something else that works by all means go for it! And contact me if you need fellowship...been there, done that, still need it myself!

Memorial of St. John of the Cross
Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 45:6c-8,18,21c-25
Psalms 85:9-14
Luke 7:18b-23

Keeping it simple...

Not always the easiest thing to do, especially for someone who imagines himself complicated like I do. It's best to go back to the basics when I start tying myself up in knots; breathe in and out, feed and clothe myself, kiss my wife and kids, don't drink and go to meetings.

Or in the words of St. Padre Pio:

"Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry!"

Brother Pio, ask God to remove the clutter from my life and heart and allow me to follow the precepts of simply being alive and in His service.

Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 40:25-31
Psalm 103:1-4,8,10
Matthew 11:28-30

The "Kneeling Santa" and why I love him

We've all seen "The Kneeling Santa".

Maybe you've got it as an ornament for your Christmas tree, or as a lawn decoration. It has become the calling card of those who want us all to remember that "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", to "Keep Christ in Christmas". And it certainly is that.

Myself, I prefer to think of this idea of Santa and Christ together as a beautiful reminder of how the secular and the sacred can share a special day of generosity and giving and goodwill toward each other. Christians celebrate the birth of the Christ Child, the coming of our Savior into a world that sorely needs it. Many non-Christians or non-practicing Christians don't acknowledge that...AND THAT'S OK. Like it or not, Santa has become an icon in our culture, embodying the spirit of giving and joy and the unbridled happiness of children. Can these ideals not be emnbraced by everyone? The fact that many of us come together, share a meal, gifts, and good cheer is a GOOD THING. Non-Christians are not stealing our holiday (as if anyone could 'take' Christmas from us). They are sharing fellowship and love of their own. Many are celebrating their own festivals of giving; Chanukha, the Jewish Festival of Lights. Yule, the pre-Christian celebration of the coming of the Sun (sound familar?)

And in my opinion, that should be CELEBRATED and EMBRACED by all. Yes, there are politics involved; who can show their display on which public ground. I prefer to leave that to others.

KEEP Christ in Christmas, by all means. But share the love and joy and giving of this holiday with EVERYONE.

Daily Mass Readings
Romans 10:9-18
Psalms 19:8-11
Matthew 4:18-22

I HATE when that happens!

I'd fully intended on getting a good start with the Advent season. Unfortunately, between a busy weekend and a lousy cold, I didn't get to Mass yesterday (ALSO missing the introduction of the new Missal!), didn't get the Advent Wreath out of storage, didn't do a lot of things.

I could get down on myself, and scramble to catch up. But that's not what the Season is about. Advent is about the patient waiting for the Christ Child to come into the world. Scrambling will not make me any more ready to welcome Him. To parahrase a Zen quote I once came across, "The mind is like water; it cannot be made still through any effort. It can only be made still, by being still", or something to that effect. If any of you know the exact quote or source, please let me know!

Embrace the Holy Darkness of Advent. Come, Christ Child!

Memorial of St. Joseph Pignatelli, S.J.
Daily Mass Readings
Isaiah 2:1-5
Psalm 122:1-9
Matthew 8:5-11