As I move closer to my profession as a Secular Franciscan(happening this Saturday, God willing), there is trepidation, anxiousness, a little fear, and a lot of excitement. It feels a lot like the week leading up to my wedding. But there are some differences, of course.
There will be a lot less people in attendence. There will be far fewer bells and whistles. At least outwardly, my life won't appear to change that much. No presents and no honeymoon (DANG!)
But the people who count will be there. My wife, who has been my daily strength, love and encouragement. My children, the two greatest accomplishments of my life, who've already taught me far more than I could ever teach them. Two VERY dear friends, kindred souls, who've shared a good portion of this journey with me (you know who you are). And most importantly for this day, my Franciscan Family.
Brother Jules, our formation director, said at our very first meeting 4 or so years ago that we all were already Franciscans and "we've got to go through some hullaballoo to make it official". Somehow, with plenty of bumps and bruises, I've come out on the other side of this thing.
Please pray for me and my fellow candidates - Eddie, Geri, and Joe - as we profess to live the Gospel life in the footsteps of Brother Francis. The journey of the rest of our lives now begins...as it does each and every day.
So as far as this blog goes, I guess I'm back. I won't go into the events of the last few months; suffice to say I'm a bit humbled, and perhaps a bit more grateful than I was at the beginning of the summer. If anyone's still reading...thank you for sticking around.
Memorial of St. John de Brébeuf and St. Isaac Jogues
Daily Mass Readings
Romans 6:12-18
Psalm 124:1-8
Luke 12:39-48
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The man comes around...
I've discovered recently that ecumenism between multiple faiths is something that is piquing my interest. Am I being "called" there? Perhaps, and I plan on following it. Why do I feel such kinship and intrigue toward multiple faiths? Because of the people I've met and the way they live their lives; I feel the spark of Divinity in them all. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Paganism, even the varying degrees of Agnosticism and Atheism. I'd like to do something within the forever unfinished work of bringing all these faiths just a little bit closer, a little bit further from the chaos (although there's something to be said for some chaos at times!) All of these lenses with which we view the Mystery are distorted, necessarily incomplete. We recognize that that Mystery through the culture and times through which we experience it, through the faiths (or lack thereof) which we are given and/or which we choose. There is a purposeful diversity that must always be cherished. But we focus on what divides us as a People far, far more than what unites us. I find this sad. I enjoy conversing with these people, and would love to solve the problems of the Universe working with such people. Or at least share a bit of fellowship.
I will be rebranding this blog, or possibily starting a new one from a completely different angle. This periodic trumpeting of where I am on my spiritual journey is all starting to taste like beans. I've been censoring myself and I am admittedly writing in part to scream "LOOK AT ME, HERE I AM, SEE HOW GOOD AND HOLY I'M BECOMING?" Now there's nothing wrong with that, per se. But for me, it's getting old, and there are other things in my faith and my life that merit more attention (the above-ecumenical thing is but one of them.)
I'll leave this blog up for any who'd care to peruse it in the future. To those who've actually been reading, thank you for honoring my writing with a glance or comment. I've learned a lot from this experience, but it's time to evolve. I've gone as far as I can here.
Thursday in the Seventh Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 22:30; 23:6-11
Psalm 16:1-2a+5,7-11
John 17:20-26
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A quick chuckle
This is from Fr. Jim Martin SJ, writing at AMERICA magazine. He was addressing graduates at the University of Pennsylvania, and it's too much of a gem not to share.
Wednesday of the Fourth Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 12:24-13:5a
Psalm 67:2-3,5,6,8
John 12:44-50
There's an interfaith gathering at Penn and all the participants --
Catholics, Protestant, Jewish, Muslims, Buddhists, even agnostics andatheists --are on lunch break. They go to a local food truck (my favorite, which we called Ptomaine Tony's), and they all get food poisoning and die.
So they arrive at the gates of heaven, bummed out because, you know, they're dead, but happy because they're in heaven. And St. Peter comes out to take care of business. So he turns to the Protestants and says, "Hey, thanks for all that great work you did in helping people learn the Bible and all those great hymns. So welcome to heaven. Why don't you go to Room Five, but make sure not to look in Room One." Off they go. Then Peter says to the Jewish crowd, "Hey, thanks for keeping the Covenant faithfully, and following all the Commandments that God asked of you. So Mazel tov! Welcome to heaven. Go to Room ... Four, but don't look into Room One." Then he turns to the Muslims and says, "Thanks for all daily prayers and your devout observances of all that the Quran taught. Welcome to heaven! Go to Room Three, but make sure not to look into Room One."
Finally, one of the agnostics, who's surprised to be there at all, says to St. Peter, "What's in Room One?" And he says, "Oh, that's the Catholics. They think they're the only ones up here."
Wednesday of the Fourth Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 12:24-13:5a
Psalm 67:2-3,5,6,8
John 12:44-50
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Who are these "Franciscan"-type folks?
Thanks to my Franciscan sister Cyndie for posting this:
I'm grateful this morning! We were given the date for our permanent profession to the Order! October 22, 2011! Whoa...this is HAPPENING! Gonna be a long summer this year!
Tuesday in the Fourth Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 11:19-26
Psalm 87:1b-7
John 10:22-30
Franciscans... Wordless witnesses of life...
These are faithful who, in the midst of their own community, demonstrate their capacity for understanding and acceptance, sharing of life and destiny, solidarity for what is noble and good. They radiate their faith in values and their hope in something that is not seen.
We stir questions in the hearts of those who see how we live:
Why are they like this?
Why do they live this way?
What or who is it that inspires them?
We are who God calls us to be: witnesses to the Gospel by action. Servants of the unworthy servants of God
I'm grateful this morning! We were given the date for our permanent profession to the Order! October 22, 2011! Whoa...this is HAPPENING! Gonna be a long summer this year!
Tuesday in the Fourth Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 11:19-26
Psalm 87:1b-7
John 10:22-30
Friday, May 13, 2011
Wrestling within the Church
Where am I in my faith? I love God. I love the role that God the Son, The Father, and the Spirit have played in my life; indeed I likely would not be alive had it not been for my faith. As a Christian, I could not be anything other than Catholic; the Sacraments and sacramentals, the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, the reverence, the beauty, etc. I've not seen this or experienced this in any Protestant church. There are not many local Orthodox churches about, so I haven't experienced that brand of worship (I'm also not in a position to learn Greek or Russian at this time, so the point is moot.) Catholicism is the Church of my Clan and always has been. We are raising our sons as Catholics. We take part in a vibrant parish community.
So what in particular is the angel I am currently wrestling with?
I have had it up to "here" with the exclusionary mindset of many of my
brothers and sisters in the faith. Some of the more glaring examples
for me:
- Open, unguarded contempt of homosexuals; not homosexuality as an orientation or homosexual acts, but the people themselves. They do this through ridicule, scorn, name-calling, and ostracizing, either under the guise of "correcting the sinner" and "winning souls for Christ" or just out of naked unmasked malevolence. Unjust discrimination of homosexual persons, which all of the aforementioned can rightly be identified as, is something expressly to be avoided according to our Catechism (CCC 2358).
- The idea that a Catholic ought not to present himself or herself to receive Communion if one has voted or supported a candidate that supports so-called "pro-abortion" policies -that a candidate's position on Roe v. Wade is an all-or-nothing litmus test defining whom we are "allowed" to vote for. Never mind if the social policies of the candidate in question may actually reduce the number of abortions. Never mind if you simply do not believe the opponent's supposed "pro-life" stance, whose policies have not demonstrably prevented one abortion, whose social policies force women in crisis pregnancy into a place where they feel they have no other choice but to abort.
- That "outside the Church, there is no salvation", also known
as "Feeneyism" after Leonard Feeney SJ and his strict interpretation of
the aforementioned doctrine known as Extra Ecclesiam Nulla Salus. Plenty of Catholics, many of whom I am acquainted with online and offline, continue to hold this view to a greater or lesser degree. They pay ecumenism with other Christian and non-Christian faiths lip service, but in fact look on them with contempt. This is in spite of the Catechism's teaching which states that "those who nevertheless seek God with a
sincere heart and moved by grace, try in their actions to do His will as
they know it through the dictates of their conscience" may be saved as
well (CCC 847).
Many of my brothers and sisters with these mindsets simply label me a
"victim of the culture", a "cafeteria Catholic" or some derivative
thereof. That may well be true. However, I will not ignore that my
conscience becomes disturbed when these topics come up, when my brethren
trumpet these "unwavering" Church teachings from the rooftops. Whether
I am right or not - and I certainly allow for the possibility that I am
NOT - I cannot and will not remain silent at these mean-spirited,
uncharitable pronouncements.
In the words of Saint Thomas Aquinas, it is "better to suffer the pain
of excommunication, than to act against one's own conscience." I pray
that my conscience is properly formed, but until that day of certainty
(likely the day I die), I must operate as my conscience dictates. I can
do no more. I will do no less.
Friday in the Third Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 9:1-20
Psalm 117:1,2
John 6:52-59
So what in particular is the angel I am currently wrestling with?
I have had it up to "here" with the exclusionary mindset of many of my
brothers and sisters in the faith. Some of the more glaring examples
for me:
- Open, unguarded contempt of homosexuals; not homosexuality as an orientation or homosexual acts, but the people themselves. They do this through ridicule, scorn, name-calling, and ostracizing, either under the guise of "correcting the sinner" and "winning souls for Christ" or just out of naked unmasked malevolence. Unjust discrimination of homosexual persons, which all of the aforementioned can rightly be identified as, is something expressly to be avoided according to our Catechism (CCC 2358).
- The idea that a Catholic ought not to present himself or herself to receive Communion if one has voted or supported a candidate that supports so-called "pro-abortion" policies -that a candidate's position on Roe v. Wade is an all-or-nothing litmus test defining whom we are "allowed" to vote for. Never mind if the social policies of the candidate in question may actually reduce the number of abortions. Never mind if you simply do not believe the opponent's supposed "pro-life" stance, whose policies have not demonstrably prevented one abortion, whose social policies force women in crisis pregnancy into a place where they feel they have no other choice but to abort.
- That "outside the Church, there is no salvation", also known
as "Feeneyism" after Leonard Feeney SJ and his strict interpretation of
the aforementioned doctrine known as Extra Ecclesiam Nulla Salus. Plenty of Catholics, many of whom I am acquainted with online and offline, continue to hold this view to a greater or lesser degree. They pay ecumenism with other Christian and non-Christian faiths lip service, but in fact look on them with contempt. This is in spite of the Catechism's teaching which states that "those who nevertheless seek God with a
sincere heart and moved by grace, try in their actions to do His will as
they know it through the dictates of their conscience" may be saved as
well (CCC 847).
Many of my brothers and sisters with these mindsets simply label me a
"victim of the culture", a "cafeteria Catholic" or some derivative
thereof. That may well be true. However, I will not ignore that my
conscience becomes disturbed when these topics come up, when my brethren
trumpet these "unwavering" Church teachings from the rooftops. Whether
I am right or not - and I certainly allow for the possibility that I am
NOT - I cannot and will not remain silent at these mean-spirited,
uncharitable pronouncements.
In the words of Saint Thomas Aquinas, it is "better to suffer the pain
of excommunication, than to act against one's own conscience." I pray
that my conscience is properly formed, but until that day of certainty
(likely the day I die), I must operate as my conscience dictates. I can
do no more. I will do no less.
Friday in the Third Week of Easter
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 9:1-20
Psalm 117:1,2
John 6:52-59
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Why I am Catholic, and why I stay Catholic
I've been asked this a lot recently Why are you Catholic? Why do you STAY Catholic? They're good questions, with long answers. So I'll nutshell it here for you...
I was enamored with Church and Mass from the moment I can remember; from the smell of the incense, the sound of the hymns and choirs, the beauty of the art. Before I began CCD, I knew something...huge...was going on up on the altar during the consecration. When I did begin CCD, I became a "Church nerd". This meant my teachers loved me, my classmates ridiculed me, and I was left to ponder the Mystery on my own. I thought I wanted to be a priest (at least until puberty hit).
Fast forward a couple of decades...like many Catholics of my generation, I stopped attending Mass after confirmation, and my faith and prayer life dwindled. I dabbled in various esoteric religions; Buddhism, Paganism, etc. All had shreds of wisdom and the ritual I so loved, but my heart longed for the Eucharist. I tried to fill the emptiness from that and other things with booze, and this developed into full-fledged alcoholism. Luckily, I've been blessed enough to have an understanding and long-suffering wife to help me through all this without leaving me or killing me (but that is a whooooooole other story).
To make a long story short (too late), I remain Catholic due to the intercession of John Paul II. On August 30th, 2001, my wife and kids were away at my inlaws suummer house, and I was grimly setting myself up for a full weekend bender. I had been to the hospital several weeks before for excessive alcohol consumption. Didn't phase me a bit. There was drinking to be done. I was finishing off my third bottle of wine, had the bottle upended and was slugging it down. EWTN happened to be on in the background...I certainly was not conscious of turning it on...and my back was to the TV. As the last of the wine was disappearing down my throat, I heard in a warm yet unfamiliar voice:
"Thomas...you need to stop, NOW."
Of course I was alone but it was conversational, right in my ear. I looked back at the TV and there was the Pope, beset by his Parkinson's disease; leaning on his Papal Cross. And looking right at the camera. Right at me.
The urge to continue drinking disappeared. I called my wife, told her I was an alcoholic, and that I needed to get help. I called AA and made my first meeting the next day. I've been sober for going on 10 years, thanks to my wife, AA, Jesus in the Eucharist...and the intercession of Blessed John Paul II.
I'm a better husband and father than I ever was. I'm a better man than I've ever been. And it's largely due to my regained faith.
Feast of Saint Philip and Saint James, Apostles
Daily Mass Readings
1 Corinthians 15:1-8
Psalm 19:2-5
John 14:6-14
I was enamored with Church and Mass from the moment I can remember; from the smell of the incense, the sound of the hymns and choirs, the beauty of the art. Before I began CCD, I knew something...huge...was going on up on the altar during the consecration. When I did begin CCD, I became a "Church nerd". This meant my teachers loved me, my classmates ridiculed me, and I was left to ponder the Mystery on my own. I thought I wanted to be a priest (at least until puberty hit).
Fast forward a couple of decades...like many Catholics of my generation, I stopped attending Mass after confirmation, and my faith and prayer life dwindled. I dabbled in various esoteric religions; Buddhism, Paganism, etc. All had shreds of wisdom and the ritual I so loved, but my heart longed for the Eucharist. I tried to fill the emptiness from that and other things with booze, and this developed into full-fledged alcoholism. Luckily, I've been blessed enough to have an understanding and long-suffering wife to help me through all this without leaving me or killing me (but that is a whooooooole other story).
To make a long story short (too late), I remain Catholic due to the intercession of John Paul II. On August 30th, 2001, my wife and kids were away at my inlaws suummer house, and I was grimly setting myself up for a full weekend bender. I had been to the hospital several weeks before for excessive alcohol consumption. Didn't phase me a bit. There was drinking to be done. I was finishing off my third bottle of wine, had the bottle upended and was slugging it down. EWTN happened to be on in the background...I certainly was not conscious of turning it on...and my back was to the TV. As the last of the wine was disappearing down my throat, I heard in a warm yet unfamiliar voice:
"Thomas...you need to stop, NOW."
Of course I was alone but it was conversational, right in my ear. I looked back at the TV and there was the Pope, beset by his Parkinson's disease; leaning on his Papal Cross. And looking right at the camera. Right at me.
The urge to continue drinking disappeared. I called my wife, told her I was an alcoholic, and that I needed to get help. I called AA and made my first meeting the next day. I've been sober for going on 10 years, thanks to my wife, AA, Jesus in the Eucharist...and the intercession of Blessed John Paul II.
I'm a better husband and father than I ever was. I'm a better man than I've ever been. And it's largely due to my regained faith.
Feast of Saint Philip and Saint James, Apostles
Daily Mass Readings
1 Corinthians 15:1-8
Psalm 19:2-5
John 14:6-14
Monday, May 2, 2011
Death of an enemy
I'm not going to post any links to the news stories about the death of
Osama bin Laden or any conspiracy theories about what "really" happened.
We've all heard them by now. Even amongst the conspiracy theorists,there is universal agreement that bin Laden is dead.
It's hard to know how to react. I was 2 blocks away from Ground Zero on
9/11/2001, and continued to work there until 2005. Friends and relatives of mine were killed, wounded, and worked on the pile. It took almost 10 years (perhaps not that long, if some of the conspiracy theories are to be believed), but the man who claimed responsibility for orchestrating these attacks has been killed. I pray this brings some small modicum of closure for the victims and their families. When I watched the news in the wee hours this morning, part of me wanted to join in the spontaneous jubilation in front of the White House, in Times Square, and at Ground Zero.
Another part of me was embarrassed and ashamed by what I saw.
The parallels between the celebrations of Americans at the death of bin
Laden and that of many in the Arab world (and certain Arab-American communities) in the wake of the 9/11 attacks struck me hard. Celebrating the death of a person or a people you believe to be evil: How far removed are we as Americans from those who celebrated our darkest moment?
Loving our enemies is a tall, tall order from God. It is one I am not prepared to carry out in this instance, at least not yet. I pray that someday God will grant me the will to forgive. I'm not there right now, and I know God understands. He doesn't expect anything from me I'm not
capable of. Maybe the idea that I write "not yet" instead of "never" is a small instance of progress and the movement of Grace within my heart.
I hope so.
Peace be upon us all.
Memorial of St. Athanasius
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 4:23-31
Psalm 2:1-9
John 3:1-8
Osama bin Laden or any conspiracy theories about what "really" happened.
We've all heard them by now. Even amongst the conspiracy theorists,there is universal agreement that bin Laden is dead.
It's hard to know how to react. I was 2 blocks away from Ground Zero on
9/11/2001, and continued to work there until 2005. Friends and relatives of mine were killed, wounded, and worked on the pile. It took almost 10 years (perhaps not that long, if some of the conspiracy theories are to be believed), but the man who claimed responsibility for orchestrating these attacks has been killed. I pray this brings some small modicum of closure for the victims and their families. When I watched the news in the wee hours this morning, part of me wanted to join in the spontaneous jubilation in front of the White House, in Times Square, and at Ground Zero.
Another part of me was embarrassed and ashamed by what I saw.
The parallels between the celebrations of Americans at the death of bin
Laden and that of many in the Arab world (and certain Arab-American communities) in the wake of the 9/11 attacks struck me hard. Celebrating the death of a person or a people you believe to be evil: How far removed are we as Americans from those who celebrated our darkest moment?
Loving our enemies is a tall, tall order from God. It is one I am not prepared to carry out in this instance, at least not yet. I pray that someday God will grant me the will to forgive. I'm not there right now, and I know God understands. He doesn't expect anything from me I'm not
capable of. Maybe the idea that I write "not yet" instead of "never" is a small instance of progress and the movement of Grace within my heart.
I hope so.
Peace be upon us all.
Memorial of St. Athanasius
Daily Mass Readings
Acts 4:23-31
Psalm 2:1-9
John 3:1-8
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