The Prophet Jeremiah and worn-out shoes

Today I began reading THE CLOISTER WALK by Kathleen Norris. Ms. Norris, a Benedictine Oblate (click here for details on oblates), chronicles her time in a Benedictine Abbey and her journey toward oblation. Although I've only just begun, this journal/meditation is a page-turner.

I was particularly shocked out of my reading by Ms. Norris' account of the monks collectively reading lectio continua; reading entire books of the Bible at once rather than the piecemeal chapter and verse we're used to; this preserves the continuity of the author and captures the poetic/oral tradition that animates the Benedictine charism.

The monks were listening to the Book of Jeremiah. The prophet states in chapter 2 verse 25, "Stop wearing out your shoes." Like being shocked by that cool sweet water from Smallwood Falls, I was awake. Ms Norris goes on to comment:

"This was something the crusty desert father might have said to a recalcitrant young monk who thought some other monastery might suit him better...In a society that has become alarmingly mobile, where retreats and spirituality workshops have become such a hot consumer item, one wonders if seeking the holy has become an end in itself." (pg 34)

I immediately thought of the off-ramps my own spiritual path has taken here and there over the years, but especially recently. What am I looking for...really...when I say I wish to understand God as others (non-Christians) understand God? I mean, I've been down this road before many times, but always feeling guilty, always haphazardly, without a map, without a home base, and without a good pair of shoes. As long as I can remember, I looked into alternate spiritualities like Buddhism, Judaism and (gasp!) Paganism, with the idea I was doing something wrong, something exotic, something dangerous. After scratching the surface (read a book or 2, haunt a few message boards) and finding real people, with real beliefs, real faith, and yes, real problems, I'd become disillusioned. Then I'd retreat to safe, Catholic Christianity until I felt like being "bad" again.

Seeking the holy has indeed become the end and thus far it's left me cold.

Perhaps if I truly engage these faiths and the people who practice them, I will do better. Perhaps seeking the holy needs to be the means rather than the end. Perhaps - without the inner pretense of being "exotic" - and from my own lens as a faithful Catholic, I can actually see something worth seeing and learn something worth learning. Ecumenism isn't be about ditching your date for the tantalizing girl and her man who just sauntered into the hall; you dance with the one who brung ya (and Christ Crucified certainly 'brung' me!). However, we certainly can all sit down at table between dances and talk about who we are and how we got here. As Brothers and Sisters.

Thank you Jeremiah!

Daily Mass Readings
Micah 5:1-4
Psalm 13:6a-c
Matthew 1:1-16,18-23

Waterfalls and boulders

Sometimes even a routine weekend can surprise.

We were up at my in-laws summer house outside of Monticello, NY, in a hamlet called Smallwood. Going up to the "country house" is sort of fall-back position for us on summer weekends. It's not that we don't have a good time up there - we do. When we're not working with Lori's dad on this or that construction project (the man has done wonders with what had been a dilapidated cabin 12 years ago), we can go swimming in the lake or the pool, cruise the dozens of flea markets great and small. On a number of occasions, we've visited the Museum at the Bethel Center for the Arts (site of the original Woodstock festival...peace, man!)

Sometimes it all starts to taste like chicken after awhile if you know what I mean.

This past weekend had been a little strained. My in laws had taken the boys up on Thursday, and Lori and I followed after I left work on Friday. Additionally, Lori's cousins cameup with their three daughters, all loud and full of fizz as all kids under 10 are, but the crowding wasn't it. Everyone, including me, just seemed to be surly; snapping at each other rather than enjoying the holiday weekend.

As I was packing to get the heck out of there on Monday, Lori's mom said she was taking the boys for a walk near the lake; one of the neighbors was going to show them where the "Smallwood Falls" was located. Now, we'd been coming up to Smallwood since 1997 when my in laws bought the cabin. I thought I'd seen all that was worth seeing. We'd heard the neighbors mention "the falls" here and there; I expected they were talking about some stagnant little man-made stream that generally trickled in a downward direction. I even thought I knew the stream they were talking about, and I mentally scoffed at every mention of the mighty "falls".

So the boys were going to see the falls, huh? Good for them, I thought, and continued packing, more than a bit anxious to leave this weekend behind.

About a half hour later, Lori's mom called on the cell. She sounded very lighthearted and said that Lori and I just HAD to come down. She did not elaborate beyond the directions (although we had to call back 2 or 3 times to clarify said directions...not Ma's strong point).

We finally pulled up to our destination. After getting out of the van, the first thing I heard was the water. Not the steady trickle of a stagnant stream. No this was the constant bubbling and rumbling of water over rock. A lot of both. Lori and I walked to a clearing in the woods where Ma stood. She smiled as we walked past her. There under the canopy of the maples and evergreens was...Smallwood Falls.

There were dozens of huge, almost neolithic looking boulders, festooned with bright-green moss. No direct sunlight penetrated; we were enveloped by midday shade. It was cool enough that none of the stinging and biting flies made their usual nuisance. The rapidly running (and surprisingly clean and clear) water rushed over three shelves of the aforementioned boulders. I saw my children on the second level of the Falls, fascinated and excitedly intent on what there were doing; James was attempting a little dam made of leaves at a narrow point. Patrick was sailing twig after twig into the rapids and watching the rough-tumble course of each as they shot through the current. My hearts swelled with love and pride as I watched them.

Lori settled down on a boulder and gazed over the scene. I walked up, past the third level to the side of the rushing stream. The ground beneath my feet had a bit of give; layers upon layers of leaves and pine needles. There was a slight crunch to each step. I also noticed the sound quality was...different is the only way I could put it. At one point the water would almost deafen, a couple of yards away from the bank and there was a strange echo. There was something larger than me here...and yet I...we...were all a part of it.

On impulse, I rushed to the bank near one of the ledges of the Falls. The water, incredibly clear, looked inviting. I got down on my knees and cupped my hands under the torrent. I was SO cool, so clear! I washed my hands clean, and splashed the water onto my face...Bliss! Cupping my hands under this natural faucet, I gulped down a miracle-tinged swallow of the water and was satisfied. I was at peace. And the toxins of the weekend left me.

We left, bound for home later that day. Weekend salvaged! I'll try to get some pics up soon!

Sister Water, Brothers Rock and Tree, thank you for your presence.

Amen.

Daily Mass Readings
1 Corinthians 6:1-11
Psalm 149:1-6,9
Luke 6:12-19

9 Years

Nine revolutions around the sun since I put the cork in the bottle. I am extremely grateful today for all the people in my life and my God who made this possible in the first place!

I'm celebrating in my own way...relaxing in the den with some peach sorbet. I don't think I'm getting complacent in my sobriety, but each year, I get less and less surprised to be celebrating another one. I guess I ought to be grateful for that most of all; that sobriety is a matter of course and a way of life rather than something to continually sweat through.

As I've already posted today's Mass readings, I will instead post the very well-known (but officially untitled) poem by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, commonly called the "Serenity Prayer". This is the full version:

God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless

A Hale and Hearty Amen!

On Retreat in Alvernia

I spent the day at a Franciscan Retreat house called Alvernia in Centerport Long Island for a day of reflection last year. The theme was Praying Always and All Ways. This has been playing over and over in my mind, especially recently (see my previous post)

One segment of the retreat was praying in nature. As Alvernia sits directly on the water in Centerport, surrounded by myriad flora and fauna, this was appropriate. St. Francis reminds us that all creatures and forces are our Brothers and Sisters; Brother Sun, Sister Moon, Brother Fire, Sister Water, Mother Earth, Sister Death. I began and and ended this segment's journey deep in a thicket of bamboo about 20yards from the front door of the retreat house - it may as well been 20 miles.

I wrote the following poem in the midst of this experience:

My Bamboo Temple,
Walls 30 feet and and twice as wide.
In it, I sit and prepare for my journey with and to You.
Our Swan, majestic and swift, flies in low,
How can such a thing be, to sustain such grace in flight?
I walk on our beach to your shore.
Your pebbles, rocks and silt suck gently at my feet,
Embracing them as your own, like a lover's deep kiss.
Dozens of geometrically perfect, wet-clear jellyfish lie at your water's edge.
They have chosen this place to die.
I remain in You as You remain in me.

Return to my Temple to phase back into...and out of...the World.

Amen

Daily Mass Readings
1 Corinthians 2:10-16
Psalm 145:8-14
Luke 4:31-37

Humility...and coming clean

The Mass readings yesterday emphasized humility. The Book of Sirach, Chapter 3 proclaims "What is too sublime for you seek not, into things beyond your strength, search not." Yesterday's Gospel exhorts us to seek the lowest place when invited (Luke 14).

I guess I ought to come clean - I can't say that I'm currently striving to be humble, at least in light of these readings. To be truthful, things do go a bit deeper than that.

I look for the sublime, the unknown to be made known. I've been attracted to the face of the Divine since I was a toddler. Recently this curiosity has extended beyond what is known to me through the lens of Catholic teaching. To be sure, I've gained a minimal understanding of God within the context of the Church over the years. This is becoming less and less...acceptable to me over the years, I guess one would say. It simply doesn't feel to be "enough". There's a huge world out there, billions of people with thousands of different ideas of what constitutes Deity. Are the majority of the people in the world, AKA non-Christians, wrong? If so, what does an all-loving God do with these deluded folks? Or maybe, do they have insights into the Divine that I simply haven't even considered?

Now, I suspect at least a couple of my relatively few readers will think this pluralistic view smacks of "the dictatorship of relativism" the future Pope Benedict XVI spoke of before the last conclave. Or perhaps that I've made this "all about me" and my feelings about God. Maybe I am just getting cold feet as I get closer to my profession. I suppose any/all that could be true. However, I can say that this specific struggle has been with me for quite some time. I've done a good deal of praying about it over the months, and really ought to sit down with my spiritual director for an overdue heart-to-heart.

This blog IS supposed to be about the angels I wrestle with, the potential stumbling blocks as I find my way along whatever this is that constitutes my spiritual path. Wanting to learn in depth about how other cultures and religions view and pay homage to Deity certainly qualifies. I will not de-emphasize or attempt to minimize this longing any further. St. Augustine tells us "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You." My heart is restless, and I won't pretend it isn't (at least not anymore).

I hope you'll continue to read in light of this little bloggish twist. Any prayers you'd like to throw my way would be appreciated.

Pax,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
1 Corinthians 2:1-5
Psalm 119:97-102
Luke 4:16-30

The St. Francis Pledge

I would urge anyone who is serious about being good stewards to our planet - Catholic or not - to consider taking the St. Francis Pledge as laid out by the folks at Catholic Climate Covenant. Costs you nothing monetarily, but it does require you to do the following:

- PRAY and reflect on the duty to care for God’s Creation and protect the poor and vulnerable.

- LEARN about and educate others on the causes and moral dimensions of climate change.

- ASSESS how we-as individuals and in our families, parishes and other affiliations-contribute to climate change by our own energy use, consumption, waste, etc.

- ACT to change our choices and behaviors to reduce the ways we contribute to climate change.

- ADVOCATE for Catholic principles and priorities in climate change discussions and decisions, especially as they impact those who are poor and vulnerable.

So we pray about our duty to creation, learn and educate others, assess our lifestyles and make appropriate changes to lessen the suffering of the poor. Goes beyond making a simple donation, but it actually involves us in affecting change; when you get right down to it, the most important and meaningful change we can make is within ourselves and how we live our own lives.

Please consider taking the Pledge!

Peace & All Good,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
2 Thessalonians 1:1-5,11-12
Psalm 96:1-5
Matthew 23:13-22

The Catholic Church "jumps on the green bandwagon?"

Thanks goes to Deacon Keith Fournier of Catholic Online:

The Catholic Church has been green for a lot longer than any modern environmental movement

On January 1, 2010 Pope Benedict XVI released a letter entitled "If You Want to Cultivate Peace, protect creation". Some reports intimated that the Pope had somehow "joined" the environmental movement. In fact, he was simply teaching what the Church has always taught; a proper stewardship of the environment is grounded in our obligations to - and solidarity with - one another. We have been given to one another as gifts. Creation has been given to us as a human community, with responsibilities which we must now share. I sent the following excerpt from the letter to a few friends:

"There exists a certain reciprocity: as we care for creation, we realize that God, through creation, cares for us. On the other hand, a correct understanding of the relationship between man and the environment will not end by absolutizing nature or by considering it more important than the human person. If the Church's magisterium expresses grave misgivings about notions of the environment inspired by ecocentrism and biocentrism, it is because such notions eliminate the difference of identity and worth between the human person and other living things..."

This is an excellent article that highlights the Christian understanding of environmental stewardship, supported by the Holy Father's words. We are called to care for creation as it has been entrusted to us. The land, the seas, the mountains, the forests, the air, and all living things that dwell within each depend on us. A good thing to remember on this, St. Clare of Assisi's Feast Day.

Memorial of St. Clare
Daily Mass Readings,
Ezekial 9:1-7, 10:18-22
Psalm 113:1-6
Matthew 18:15-20