Dry Spell

I hate dry periods.

It just feels like I’m going through the motions. Go to Mass, follow the liturgy, receive Eucharist. Confession once a month, maybe a Rosary here and there, Lauds and Vespers…sometimes I guess I just don’t want to talk to God. Or maybe it’s that I think sometimes God doesn’t want to hear from me. Perhaps it is a little of both at the same time.

I have trouble, have always had trouble, with the idea of accepting the will of God. Back in my AA days, we said the Serenity Prayer after every meeting and I still say it regularly:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

A lot of times I ignore the difference of which the prayer speaks. What is this “acceptance” crap, anyway? I don’t like when someone else, even God, seems to impose their will on me or impacts my life in a way I don’t feel it should be impacted. Truth is, acceptance has always been an issue for me. I have trouble accepting the twists and turns in my life that I don’t foresee, can’t change, and affect me in a way I'm not comfortable with. Yet, this is Life. The less I accept the things I cannot change, the more irritable and unhappy my life is likely to be. HOWEVER, I am often equally unable or afraid to change the things in my life that needs changing. It’s almost like I am willing to accept the things I cannot change…as long as they are the things I ought to have the courage to change myself. It is as if I’m waiting for other people and/or God, to make the changes for me. In other words, I have the brilliant dreams about my life, but let everyone else do the work.

Which brings me back to the root of my problem...not wanting to talk to God. Why? Because I know I am not doing all of what I ought to be doing, and doing some things I shouldn’t. I don’t like bringing that truth before God. During the dry spells, I close myself off during the prayers I say. Talking to God in rote while trying to avoid actually communicating with God is nothing but a waste of time. God knows my mind, my heart, my intentions. However, if I don’t allow God in, invite God into my mind, heart, and intentions, how am I to better know God? How can I more fully experience God’s love and what He wants from me if I am unwilling to share myself with Him?

I need to be praying the Serenity Prayer a bit more often, methinks.

Peace,
Thomas

Memorial of St. Frances Cabrini
Daily Mass Readings
Wisdom 13:1-9
Psalm 19:2-5
Luke 17:26-37

New Ministry at my parish

I've signed up for the "Welcome Committee" at St. Bernard's this past month and our first to-do is in a couple of weeks.

The Welcome Committee is designed to help new parishioners feel more a part of the faith community at St. Bernard. We get new parishioners signing up all the time - mostly younger families wanting to have their kids baptized, receive First Holy Communion , or get confirmed - have to become a member of the parish as a first step. The majority of the time, these families have not been part of a faith community for years, if at all. It is important to minister in a special way to these newest members of our community.

We're doing follow-up calls with every person/family who signs up as a parishioner for whatever reason; see what they like to do, what ministries they might be interested in. This year we are having a special Mass said on the Solemnity of Christ the King (November 22)for these new parishioners who are interested in attending, followed by a dinner.

This ministry is planned to be extended in the future to reach out to disaffected, non-practicing Catholics, who may have one or more legitimate gripes against the Church. I find THIS particularly appealing, because I was one of the disaffected for a very long time. I am close to people who fit into this category as well. It will give me a chance to help someone the way I was helped - that old AA promise of passing on what was given to you, I guess.

I think this is an important initiative, especially with the Church's current PR problems; we need to demonstrate that we as Church are not primarily after the envelopes thrown in the basket every week. We as Church need to demonstrate that new members are needed, wanted, important voices in the flock; that they are Church, as much as the Bishops on up to the Pope. They by virtue of their baptism and the grace of the Holy Spirit are now the hands, feet, mind and heart of Christ on earth, as much as the rest of the hierarchy and the rest of the congregation they see at Mass every week, or however often they go.

Please say a prayer for our new parishioners as they begin to walk a new path in their faith life. Also, spare a prayer for those of us who will be accompanying them along the way.

Peace,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
1 Kings 17:10-16
Psalm 146:7-10
Hebrews 9:24-28
Mark 12:38-44

Remembering those who have gone before

As a child, I always wondered at the difference between All Saints Day, when the Church focuses on celebrating and remembering the souls who dwell in Heaven, with All Soul’s Day, when the Church shifts her focus to the souls in the state of purgation, or Purgatory. The first thing I remember is having to go to Mass on one (All Saints, a Holy Day of Obligation) and not having to for the other.

I remember thinking that the folks we remember on All Saints Day must be much more important. After all, they have their own “HDO”! Angels and Archangels, The Blessed Mother, her husband Joseph, Francis of Assisi, Thomas the Apostle, Padre Pio, with scores and scores of others, are all included in this holy “cloud of witnesses”. We recognize their place in Heaven as holy and worthy of veneration, and direct our prayers to God through them.

But what of “All Souls”? Sometimes I thought it sounded to me almost like an afterthought; YES, ALL SAINTS, PRAISE GOD…and oh yeah, you guys, too. Although I did not go to Catholic school, my mom was a nurse in one, and she always had off the day after Halloween, something of which my sister and I were quite envious (then again, Mom never got off for the Jewish holidays in September…we all had the opportunity to ‘rub it in’ throughout the year) We sometimes attended Mass on All Souls, but it was by no means regular. So why is this day celebrated at all?

What makes All Souls more than the watered down version of All Saints? Well, All Souls are the folks I know; All Souls is me. I don’t know too many Saints personally (although I suspect I do know a couple) All Souls are people precisely like me. All Souls include my Grandfather who drank too much and died in a decade of confusion and depression after my Grandmother passed. All Souls include my friend Ray, a brash teenage addict and alcoholic who brought me around to meetings during my first go-around in AA; he committed suicide in his garage at the age of 18. All Souls include my friend Keith, a high school kindred who endured ridicule and beatings at the hands of the closed-minded for the way he looked and the music he loved; he refused medical attention for an asthma attack and died as a result before he was 20. All Souls includes my Great Grandmother with the chin hairs that scared me. All Souls includes my beloved Archie, who helped me survive my early sobriety with the purr and lick of true companionship.

All Souls are all of those I love and cherish; my family, my friends, my ancestors, even my strangers and enemies, who have gone before: Any and all who may need my prayers and are kept alive and well through fond memories of days gone by. We ask the Saints in Heaven to pray for us on their Feast Day. Strengthened by these prayers of the Church Triumphant, we, the Church Militant, in turn pray for the Souls who may not have attained Heaven yet, The Church Suffering, that they may find the face of God and be comforted.

Remember and cherish those who have left this life…regardless of your faith tradition…this All Souls Day.

Pax et Bonum,
Thomas

The Commemoration of All Souls
Daily Mass Readings
Wisdom 3:1-9
Psalm 23: 1-6
Romans 5:5-11
John 6:37-40

A quick update

A busy cycle at work has thankfully come to a close, and things are going well.

A week ago last Friday, I took my 3rd and final degree to become a full Knight of Columbus, like my Grandfather before me. It was an awesome and meaningful ceremony, though the details are secret. I didn't understand the secretive nature of the degrees before I became a Knight. When I completed my 3rd degree, I understood; the degree process would not have meant nearly as much to me had I known all that was going to happen beforehand.

This weekend, I got a letter from Holy Poverty, my Franciscan Fraternity. They formally requested I continue my formation to the Order by advancing to the Candidacy phase. I joyfully accepted, and look forward to seeing my brothers and sisters at our next meeting to celebrate!

More tomorrow for All Soul's Day!

Pax et Bonum
Thomas


Solemnity of All Saints
Daily Mass Readings
Revelation 7:2-4, 9-14
Psalm 24:1-6
1 John 3:1-3
Matthew 5:1-12

Why HE sucks...a critique of a Dennis Leary book

I guess he warned me. But I am angry anyway.

Yesterday I went to a Barnes and Noble to find some light reading – something funny, something relatively short, etc.; I’ve been doing a lot of “heavy reading” this year, and I’m a bit burnt. Near the checkout line I saw a book entitled Why We Suck, by Dennis Leary. I’ve enjoyed Mr. Leary’s standup routines over the years, and the few episodes of his show Rescue Me I’ve seen have impressed me. So I thought I’d pick his book up, sure it would be good for a few laughs, and took it home. Should have flipped through the intro and Table of Contents first. I'd have saved myself some time.

In the intro of Why We Suck, Dennis Leary warns that I (or any potential reader) will get ticked off or offended sometime during the reading of this gem. He insists that it is because I have no sense of humor and because I cannot laugh at myself or some situation I find myself in. Now I know most people believe they have a sense of humor, and that a good number of those people are wrong; if you talk to anyone that knows me, they will back me up in that I DO possess a healthy ability to laugh at myself. I can do so because oftentimes I find me and my various situations quite ridiculous. And being a lifelong George Carlin fan, I figured I was immune to such things as being offended by a comedian.

However, I draw the line at ridiculing children’s ailments for the sake of comedy. Looking in the Table of Contents when I got home, I noticed a Chapter called Autism Shmautism. Here, Mr. Leary takes aim at children with autism or various autism spectrum disorders, like ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome. He says something along the lines of that only people like Rain Man ought to be considered autistic, that there’s nothing wrong with these kids except their inattentive, unloving parents, and everyone ought to just get over it (my apologies for not having an exact quote).

My older son has been diagnosed in the autism spectrum; Pervasive Developmental Disorder. My wife and I knew there was something not right with him as early as when he was 6-months old and just wouldn’t be held, wouldn’t hug back, in fact struggled against it. His other symptoms manifested as he grew older – lack of interest in playing with other children, his abrupt halt of language, his coordination trouble, his inability to function at an age-appropriate level, his echolalia. You never want to admit there is something wrong with or atypical about your own child. We knew. My mom (a school nurse for 30 years) knew. My sister (a hospital nurse) knew. It was an excruciating, agonizing decision to take him to a neurologist, and horrible to have your fears confirmed that your child does in fact have a disorder, and will have issues above and beyond what other children have to deal with. With the help of therapy, medication, and the love of an understanding circle of family and friends, my son has shouldered this burden and has dealt with it beautifully. I love him and am in awe of his courage.

The idea that his struggle should have been be treated with stricter parenting, perhaps with a few good swats on the ass; that whacking him a few times would scare him into "proper behavior" ticks me off. The idea that someone would write about my son’s and our family’s struggle in the vein of “THIS is one of the reasons other countries hate us, ho-ho-ho” as comedic fodder makes me downright angry.

Yet we live in a free country and right at the beginning I WAS warned as stated above. Mr. Leary can write about anything he wishes, and there are certainly enough people in this country more than happy to shell out money for this stuff. I am against censorship in the media or marketplace and I don’t think this book ought to be banned or censored or railed against or any such nonsense; this only brings more attention to such claptrap. So in the spirit of the free market, I will fight this in the only way that matters; I will return Why We Suck and stop my money from becoming Mr. Leary’s money.

Thanks for the early warning though, Dennis – saved me from reading the rest of the book.

Pax,
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Memorial of St. John de Brébeuf and St. Isaac Jogues
Romans 4:20-25
Luke 1:69-70, 71-72, 73-75
Luke 12:13-21

Anam Cara + My Brother = Gratitude

It's been an incredible weekend.

To start off, for the first time in several years I met with my "anam cara", Father Jim. Anam Cara is the Celtic term for "soul friend". In the Celtic tradition, an anam cara relationship is sacred, allowing you to awaken your own nature and relish all of your other relationships, including your relationship with God. Your anam cara loves you, cherishes you, accepts you for who you are, and acts as a confessor and confidante. Father Jim had been my spiritual director when I was discerning entering formation to the diaconate back in 2005. We'd developed a sort of anam ccara relationship as he helped guide me through my journey, to better understand my role as husband to my wife and father to my boys, and to help me see the face of God with new eyes.

I'd been stumbling a bit on an old root in the middle of my spiritual path the last couple of weeks (the details of which I will keep to myself for the time being), and my wife nudged me in the direction of re-connecting with Father Jim. We made the the trek out to Setauket to Father's new parish and joined together for about and hour and a half meeting. Jim gave his usual sage advice, listened with a kind, charitable and loving ear, and made me very happy to renew our friendship. I am not out of the woods in reference to my issue- but it feels wonderfully liberating to be headed in a positive direction with a practiced guide.

Then it was time to celebrate - my best friend from childhood had his 40th birthday party at a dare-I-say funky establishment called reBar, located between Jay Street and Pearl Street under the Brooklyn Bridge. Dylan and I have been friends since he moved around the block from me back in 1978. We'd seen each other through the swamp of puberty and high school together, and stood by each other through all manner of personal tragedies and victories over the years. Dylan stood up from me as my Best Man the day my wife and I got married, and our oldest son bears "Dylan" as his middle name. I have always considered Dylan my brother, no matter how our lives have forked away from each other in recent years.

Dylan's wife Wendy set up a beautiful party with all the people Dylan loves - I hadn't seen Dylan's sister Moira since James (now 12) was an infant! We were all reminiscing, laughing, and enjoying our lifelong friendships until the wee hours of the morning. Full of birthday cake, laughter, with our ears ringing from good, loud music, Lori and I made our way home.

To those of you who don't know New York, going from our home in Levittown out on the island to Setauket, out to Brooklyn and back again to Levittown is in the neighborhood of 120 miles. This weekend, it was a trek worthy of any pilgrimage and I thank God for the people in my life today.

God Love You!
Thomas

Daily Mass Readings
Wisdom 7:7-11
Psalm 90:12-17
Hebrews 4:12-13
Mark 10:17-30

St. Francis of Assisi and ALL our Brothers and Sisters

Today is the Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi, the Patron Saint of among other things, animals. Francis considered all manner of creatures - humans, animals, plants, water, fire, even death - our brothers and sisters. As such, many parishes including my own, hold a celebration on his Feast Day to honor and bless the animals that are part of our families and lives.

We gathered outside of church, two-legged, four-legged, and finned animals alike. We sang the Prayer of St. Francis, amidst squawks, meows, barks, howls, and even a couple of whinnies from the 2 horses that were present. Then Father Jerry and Deacon John blessed each of us and our friends individually. We didn't have the cats with us because we came straight from my son's soccer game. Luckily we remembered their collars and St. Francis medallions that John was happy to bless. Father Jerry even took a ride on Billy, one of the horses, at the end.

Brother Francis, thank you for your blessings and your patronage over ALL of God's creatures.

"The Canticle of the Sun"
by Francis of Assisi

Most high, all powerful, all good Lord! All praise is yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing. To you, alone, Most High, do they belong. No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce your name.

Be praised, my Lord, through all your creatures, especially through my lord Brother Sun, who brings the day; and you give light through him. And he is beautiful and radiant in all his splendor! Of you, Most High, he bears the likeness.

Be praised, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars; in the heavens you have made them, precious and beautiful.

Be praised, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air, and clouds and storms, and all the weather, through which you give your creatures sustenance.

Be praised, My Lord, through Sister Water; she is very useful, and humble, and precious, and pure.

Be praised, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom you brighten the night. He is beautiful and cheerful, and powerful and strong.

Be praised, my Lord, through our sister Mother Earth, who feeds us and rules us, and produces various fruits with colored flowers and herbs.

Be praised, my Lord, through those who forgive for love of you; through those who endure sickness and trial. Happy those who endure in peace, for by you, Most High, they will be crowned.

Be praised, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death, from whose embrace no living person can escape. Woe to those who die in mortal sin! Happy those she finds doing your most holy will. The second death can do no harm to them.

Praise and bless my Lord, and give thanks, and serve him with great humility."

Amen!

Daily Mass Readings
Feast of St. Francis of Assisi
Genesis 2:18-24
Psalm 128:1-6
Hebrews 2:9-11
Mark 10:2-16